Last Message?

I really so so so so so stressful.

I have no idea what to do already.

I already out of mind. Lost my mind.

Sitting in the cybercafe, in front the computer on the corner side, tears keep dropping.

Im a loser. Really a loser.

Why you bring me to this world?

I love to be happy, but why you dont give me happiness?

I cant feel the family love. So I search for love in the public.

I thought I found one, and it end up like that.

No Money,

No Family,

No More Scholarship,

No More Him,

Left Me alone in the House.

So Should I just say Goodbye and leave now?

I am used to be a very positive-thinker. I dono. I dono what will happen next.

He is still in the house. And planning to go Genting, act like nothing happening.

Everyone told me to leave him, not to be with him, he aint a good guy, but I still choose to stay around him. I choose the wrong path.

Since I already chosen the road, what to do now?

PS . Please do not take this as a note or sign to commit suicide ya, cause I'm neither Alan nor Alvis Kong. I just blog what I feel.

Regards, Khai Mean

Im totally LOST>

I have no idea what happen to me recently.

I have change to another person. CHANGE...

Not a bad idea too, BUT...

I change because of him,

He never appreciate it..

Everyday keep get scolding from him..

Keep complaining me...

Why I wouldn't I just let go...

Cause I love him....so much?

Everyday, Flirting with other girls ...through online,

Even though just through online,

How would I know if he do it in real life as well?

You told me , your phone inbox full with my messages only,

Halo...there's a button called "Delete", and Im not a 3 years old kid, OKAY?

I message you a sweet message in English, you replied me "you dont understand what is the content about"..

If you got the heart to find out, you can search the dictionary or ask any of your co-worker who know English right?

I really so fade up with you , YOU KNOW ~

Im really damn farking HATE myself...

Why am i born to be fat?

Im so desperate to be lenglui....

I have more than 1000 reasons to be lenglui than being the current me right now..

I dont want to be plum, i need "S"..

I am so emo right now..

I promise this will be the only post on emo-ing,

I have no idea who I can share with my feeling,

So I choose to blog.

Cause I know, nobody bother to read my blog too =)

And Im trying to skip meals..not to eat, control my appetite...

See how long I take to be slim.

Remember, MR.W,

I would remember and do the same thing as what you did to me right now,

when I got the chance =)

Im choose to stay with you,

not because of I love you so deeply,

is because..

IM FEAR OF YOU! FARK!

I cook for you,

I help you to wash clothes,

Even some time you called me to go downstairs da pau for u,

Did I even reject of doing anything you order me to do???

I help you to call the Help center to solve your problem,

Help you to go bank and clear your payment,

At the end,

What did I get?

My requests a lot?

What I asked you to do for me?

WHAT??

You promised to change phone for me..

Then, suddenly, you said not enough money..

Dont siao la..

keep it for your another GIRL kay =)

I am so farking EMO.....desperate..

I AM TOTALLY LOSE FAITH IN TRUE LOVE ! DAMN it!

General update

SPOT THE DIFFERENCE ..?

Of cause look nicer on first picture ...

Went to 2 different saloon on the same week. The second picture cost me RM13 for a hair cut. Cheap but ugly. 2 days later, cannot stand with my hairstyle, went to the saloon that I usually went to for another haircut. Look far nicer. But it only stand for one day, as she help me to do some straightening. Meanwhile, I have to stand with my ugly hairstyle right now ...aiz..

My face look so square.

UGLY

!

Go back to my story,

Alright...one more paper to go before I finish my final exam.

The last paper is a resit paper which I failed it during the first year of diploma, the only failed paper ..After that, going to have my precious HOLIDAY for about 3 weeks. Planning to go back Ipoh for a couple of week. Properly I will stay in KL for few days before heading back . I need to keep fit at the time. I need to be slim.

Must!

Compulsary!

No excuses..

Hairstyle

Im planning to makeover my hair. Planning to cut and color my hair next month. =) I think my round fat face better suit with this hairstyle where my forehead is cover by hair, so my face will look smaller indeed =)
Wait for my new picture =)

My hair sudah rosak, I understand :(

C3 ..in pink

Just to announce, he got me a new phone again =)
By the way, I lost all the contacts in my address book. Accidentally clear my Sim contacts. ==
I love C3 in pink =) Next gadgets...camera ! whee~

My advice to all ..

By this September, Im going to finish my Diploma...cool~ see lo, if im able to get anotehr scholarship to sponsor me to continue my Advanced, then probably I will continue for another 1 year and 9 months. God Bless Me !

God Bless Japan victims too.~ They suffered from disaster. Died over 60000 human beings. Life brief candle! Appreciate what you have now.! We may leave the world one day! Nobody knows how long we will be in the world for. Enjoy to the max, study to the max too =p

Well, for my opinion, Im going to be 20 years old this coming Dec 29th. Im going to leave my teens world and coming to the young adult's world. I know more and more burden I will have .

No difficulties, No improvement =)

So, girls, take this opportunity to do all the stuff you wish to do before it's too late. Girls get older easily than boys.
Stuff like.. Make up ? - Go for it, all girls deserve to be pretty =) Clubbing ? - Go experience it..even though you don't like it, maybe at least once? Sex? - Keep your virginity for your future husband?

Believe in yourselves !

I have gone through many things this 2011. =)
I love my current lifestyle =)
Whatever happens, I have to accept the fact that I was born this way =)
Anyway, Anyhow, I am still me =)

By the way, a great news for myself , I know how to apply fake eyelashes finally !!!! yeah~ even though it is not perfect, but at least I give myself a great starting. Past is past, time does not flip back. Look in front, walk through the pathway, Which path to choose, it is up to your own decision . ^^

My aim or my task too :
FIRST OF ALL, this task has never been completed since years !!! Damn it !
~ WHEN WILL BE THE DAY FOR ME HAVING THE S CURVE?

alright, im not being greedy, just let me reduce my weight to a normal BMI ! IT's already so nice to me dy =)
PLEASE !!
FOOD, GO AWAY FOR ME !!! you are so distracting to me...SYAITAN MAKANAN !

SECOND, my academic result!!

Im going to complete my 2 years and 4 months DIPLOMA by this coming September ! I have gone through 2 years plus! Not a short duration man ! I have to stop my bad attitude, my last minute habit! Or else, I have no chance to wear the gown :( I want !
And , I am still confusing which path suit me . CIMA OR ACCA?
I thought of going ACCA, but after attend the seminar today, they going to pick the top 450 students all over the college including branch campus, where there going to be 1000 and over students .

3rd - IMPROVE MY CHINESE

Im a CHINESE. By right, I should be able to master my origin language =)
Im don't want to be banana ><

4th - IMPROVE MY COOKING SKILL >3

So far, I have been improving a lot !!! yeah ~ I know I'm going to be a perfect wife in future =)

Actually, 我普通话颈部很多了...哈哈哈哈..~


And last but not least,
REMEMBER,
TO LOVE YOURSELVES MORE!!!
IF YOU ARE NOT,
THEN YOU MUST LOOK AT THE MIRROR MORE FROM NOW ONWARDS!
LOVE YOURSELVES BEFORE YOU LOVE SOMEONE ELSE ~
MUAHHH
> 3

p/s: My update is simple and short. Cause I am being so lazy all the way =) and a lot assignments + coursework to complete. I am going to die for my coming MIS cw exam this coming Monday. T^T god bless me :(